Reasons Why You Should Not Date Me

Hopefully I can find someone who isn't much of a reader.

In today's generation you look around and constantly see people looking for love. We make these outer shells that we think promotes our best qualities in hopes of reeling in the love of our life. My view on this is that if a relationship has a chance of being good, it should start with the bad. I am the girl that wears the least amount of makeup on a first date because I want them to know that what they see is what they get. I mean of course I make myself look presentable, no need to scare the other people around me. The following is what I like to call my "makeup free" list.

1. I will always put myself first

I naturally care about every person in my life and I will be there for you no matter what. That being said, I will always be there for myself too. I rely on myself and only myself. If at any point I feel that a relationship is no longer leading me in a direction that is best for me, I will type out that breakup text with no remorse.

2. I will always choose my pets over you

My animals are like my children. If you do not like them, I don't care how much you resemble Ryan Gosling, it's a deal breaker. I am a cat lady. If you are allergic to or just plain don't like cats, it is not going to work.

3. Intimacy freaks me out

Someone knowing everything about me, makes me uncomfortable. After a couple of failed relationships I realized I didn't like the idea of someone knowing so much about me that is now considered a stranger. It takes a good amount of time for me to accept that you're not going anywhere so it is okay to tell you my favorite color.

4. My appetite will put a hole in your wallet

I believe I have relation to the Lord of the Rings characters Merry and Pippin. A day without second breakfast is a day I will surely be suffering.

5. I cancel plans like no other

I hate making plans. It pains me. Though I may be thrilled about the idea of going out a week from now, when that date comes I just as easily can be more thrilled with the idea of lying in bed and binge watching Netflix by myself. Last minute dates are the way to my heart. If I have the time to think about it, I'm most likely going to change my mind.

6. My dreams are my top priority

The sky is the limit for my goals and aspirations. If I want to move to New York one day, I will find a way to make it happen. It is not fair for me to ask someone else to follow me everywhere I go when it is not their dream as well. Ain't no one gonna be able to hold me back.

7. Sarcasm is my first language

It may be cute at first but eventually you'll realize it's just my way of being rude in the nicest possible way.

8. I'm overthinking 99 percent of the time

My mind is going a million miles per hour every second of the day. A conversation is not just a conversation. To me, it can turn into an interaction I will analyze for days. Like, what did he mean by tone in which he said "hey"?

I think deeply and passionately about absolutely everything. While I personally love this about myself, it's not easily understood by others.

9. I do not need you

I have finally reached a point where I know who I am, I like who I am and nothing you say is going to change that. I may desire you, but I will be okay without you. If you're looking for the girl who just doesn't know what to do with herself if she doesn't have you, move along.

10. Another man will always be in front of you

God. I would be nothing without Him.

Can I get an amen?